The Need to Accept and Move On

Despite what I have thought...I have never accepted the death of my lil brother. Yes I can talk about him and yes I know he is dead...but I never grieved!!! I never broke down and cried, other than the initial shock kind of crying...

Most of you know I lost my youngest brother when I was 17, a Senior in high school...that was April 16th of 2002...The last time I saw his grave was April 19th...He has been gone for almost 8 years and it terrifies me to go and visit...I have blocked so much from that time, yet remember in vivid detail so much too!!! A few months ago, I finally had the courage to even ask where he is buried...but that is all I did.

What kind of coward am I? There is no big deal in going to see him...The world will not cease to rotate...I will not cease to breath...But the very thought of driving there stops me in my tracks. I can't breathe properly, my heart aches, and tears fall of their own accord.

I reached out to a person that was there for me (however somewhat a small part) during the time of his death and burial...and everything flooded back. Colby...this person and the memories we share...the friendship...the heartache...and it is the hardest thing for me to get this person out of my mind as of late!!!

I am going to make it a goal to visit before his 8th year anniversary rolls around!!!

Thursdays Drive Down Memory Lane...

These are my girls...

The redhead is Brianna...my awe-inspiring goddaughter...my baby girls just idolize her and I have to say most of it is so deserved...She is an amazing young girl, who unfortunately lives so far away from us...

Brianna is of course holding the Peanut!!! Such a toot...she has grown up so much since this picture...She is in Dance now and lovin every minute of it!!!

Now on to Cami...This was her first time in the gym...took only once and she was hooked...This pic is from her 4th Birthday Party...The Sept after that she started attending gymnastics classes...Now she is on the Level 2 Competitive Team all in one short year...She makes Mommy and Daddy proud...

A current of my lil Gym Bug!!!

Thursdays Drive Down Memory Lane...

Lil Miss Cami...a week old!!!

My Papau

This is my Papau...

He is 74 years young today...

I am so happy and blessed to have him in my life!!!

He is and will always be my FIRST TRUE LOVE!!!

Happy Birthday Pops!!!

This Past Weekend

This past weekend was something...

Friday

I went to lunch at "Chicken-Fil-A" with Hayden, Hailey and Daniel and their two kids, Taylor and Dylan, and Mindy and her two girls, Belle and Pia...We then went shopping endin up going to Academy and a few places in the mall...It was crowded but I was never really noticing cause we were in our lil group!!!

Saturday

Hailey with Taylor in tow, Mindy with Belle and Pia in tow, Kara with Jocie in tow, and me went and had Manis and Pedis...Kara and I both were Pedi Virgins...I definitely enjoyed it...Kara was a lil giggly...Afterwards we went to Just for Kix and I picked me up 2 pair of Yellow Box Flip Flops...I had to go home to pack for Austin...We had some really awesome Chinese food and hit the sack pretty early, because of Cami's Gymnastics Meet the next morning!!!

Sunday

I managed to get up on time, feed, and get Cami ready without going insane...Robert was a big help in packing while I had the fun task of doing Cami's hair for Competition...We got to the meet and it was pretty crowded, got Cami situated with her team...Cami did so good...8.8 on Vault...7.0 on Uneven Bars...8.85 on Beam...8.2 on Floor...I am so proud she got 3 Red Ribbons and 1 White Ribbon a big improvement from the mock meet...